Glimpses of Me... Cuz That's All I Can Be.

(Yawn)

This is all starting to become a Bore…

I am bored staying at home…

I am bored eating the same stuff.

I am bored doing the same things.

I’m just bored..thats what I am!

I really need this job in order to boost up my quality of Life.. I want to live and do lots of things, including traveling, eating different places, seeing new and different things.. Which ALL require money.. I don’t want to just sit in front of my computer all day or sleep all day or just stay in my house all day everyday until i have rehearsal.. It’s not fun… It’s not liberating.. it’s not.. ANYTHING HELPFUL TO LIFE!!

Need money fast though.. cuz it’s gotten to the point of

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My Father passed away when I was 6 weeks old. This coming October marks the 25th year of his death.
25 years.. and i am only 24.. 6 weeks old.. I was only SIX WEEKS OLD!!!!!
I never got to even Utter the words “Dad” or “Father” to him. He never saw my first…. Anything…. everyday I wish i could hug him and just cry on his shoulder. The older I become, the more I miss my father… That is a void i can never fill.. I Never go tot hear his voice..taste his cooking, .see how tall he was, smell the aroma of his body, or even feel how soft or rough his skin was…I was robbed of that.. I always think that if he was still here things in my life would be totally different. Maybe I would not be in this situation that I am in right now….I can only dream though right?

I only have a select few pictures of him because his Mother is being stingy with the mass amounts of pictures she has of him.. she wont give me anything.. His only son.. she won’t let me have that connection with him. (sigh) anyway….


Appreciate Your Father…. Cuz some of us don’t have him here with us anymore… Love you Dad. And I will forever need and Miss You. 

I paint my nails black, cuz it fits my mood


I’m tired of lookin’ around for something to prove
You don’t know how it feels inside my skin

But neither do I, because I numb the feeling

Take it away, all of my pain. I gotta bottle I need to finish










Take it away, take it from me. Cuz if you don’t, I might drown in it




And I keep tellin’ ma, tellin’ ma, tellin’ myself that my bad luck’s gonna go away. And I keep tryin’ and tryin’ and try, try to win but I’m losing every day



I wanna get up and fight, but I don’t have the timeI’m too busy feelin’ sorry for me
When it looks like the clouds are gone
I wake up, it was just a dream,


It was just a dream,
It was just a dream, it was all a dream




I walk around, cold to the warmth of life

I see ya tryin’ to talk, but I’m deaf to lies



I believe in promises of tomorrow. If I don’t make it there, know that I’m that sorry, though


Take it away, take it from me. Cuz I really wanna believe
After the rain, someone’ll say, 
there’s really more for me……

(Sigh)

See, I’ve been through Hell and I am still yet to come back
There is no conductor to get this on track











I have dreams of freedom from the circumstance I’m in





If it’s in His plans for me, then I will win





I’ll just dream til’ then



And I keep tellin’ ma, tellin’ ma, tellin’ myself that my bad luck’s gonna go away

And I keep tryin’ and tryin’ and try, try to win, but I’m losing every day






I wanna get up and fight,





But I don’t have the time

I’m too busy feelin’ sorry for me. When it looks like the clouds are gone, 
I wake up, it was just a dream, it was just a dream. 
It was just a dream, it was all a dream. 
It was just a dream. It was ALL a dream. (Sigh).

Just A Dream. Jojo. 2010

This is exactly How I feel.

Just a Day.. Just an Ordinary Day.. Just Trying to get By… 

I find it very interesting that some people can go ANYWHERE and find someone who likes them or no matter when they decide they want to get in a relationship they can have people knocking on their door in matter of days or weeks. I don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. Meaning it can be good because you always know that someone will want to spend time with you and be with you. Bad because that can make you look like a whore. i also find it interesting that people who may not be the Ordeal Model of Beauty can pull people also. Now don’t get me wrong, that might come off rude and mean, but trust… I believe Everyone should get a chance to get love, or at least have someone express that they enjoy or like their company in more then a friendship way. What the main point on my mind is.. who or what decides the people who get those opportunities or not? I can’t help but think of all the times i have thought i put myself out there and i got nothing in return, but someone who puts their PINKY Toe out there gets all the attention from everyone (HAHAHA) People do not notice me there.. No matter how much noise I seem to be making. It was starting to mess with my confidence… i’m regaining what i had lost though. I can see the most beautiful people, caring, loving, appreciative, just all around good people with much confidence get nothing.. and the ones who are total Donkey holes get everything… It makes no Sense to me. I just am trying to figure out what makes the difference between people who get all the attention they want..and the ones that get none.. when they seem to be putting out the same amount of effort and work? Just some things to Think About.